Walkers find friendship through grief support group

Grief never goes away, you just learn to live with it. Barrie Blazeby and Danny Ireland describe themselves as introverts but it's clear from listening to their easy banter and laughter that they've forged a great friendship from joining Saint Francis Hospice's monthly walk in the countryside.

"I really look forward to it every month...I call it sunshine time, even if the sun isn't shining," said Barrie.

Barrie and Danny have been attending the Walk On group since it was set up by Bereavement Counsellor Sue Spong in 2014. Now they lead the group while Sue supports walkers as they go make their way through the beautiful countryside surrounding the Hospice.

"I have always found walking to be a way of connecting with nature. It is gentle exercise and it is also good for the body and mind," said Barrie.

"The group is a great way to connect with new people. You don't have to talk if you don't want to but you can still be part of it."

A keen gardener, Danny has always loved the outdoors and says the Walk On group has brought him friendship and he finds comfort in being around other people who may be in a similar situation.

"Barrie and I have been friends for around eight years now. We have the same interests and sense of humour we enjoy insulting each other," he quipped.

"You don't need to be fit or even a walker but if you have a connection to the Hospice, just come along and give it a try as it might be something you enjoy. 

"Often someone may come along to the walk after having lost their wife or husband and they feel down but by the end of the walk their spirits have been lifted."

"My aunt's stay at the Hospice was one of the most meaningful times of my life"

Barrie's first experience of hospice care was at Christmas in 2007 when we cared for his aunt and he describes the time he spent on the ward as "one of the most meaningful times" in his life.

"My aunt was like a second mum to me," said Barrie.

"I was able to be with her when she was on the ward at Saint Francis Hospice over Christmas in 2007 and it was one of the most meaningful times in my life.

"The care she was given was unbelievable. I remember she loved singing carols.

"She was at peace and I had the privilege of being with her when she died.

"Life is a journey you cannot avoid. You cannot have the love without the grief."

Barrie had bereavement counselling with Sue Spong from the Hospice's Family Support team until the end of 2008 and continued to be supported by Sue over email until he joined the Walk On group.

"Although Danny and I are not officially volunteers, we feel we are putting something back by leading the Walk On group and it gives us something meaningful to do. If we are feeling down, there is always someone to speak to."

"For me, the Hospice is like a sanctuary"

Danny says he was in "limbo" when his wife Jean died in February 2008 and when he reached out to the Family Support team, he got the help he needed.

"I had a lot of family around me but we were all in the same situation grieving," said Danny.

"I knew I needed some emotional support and the family support team at Saint Francis Hospice has always been there for me.

"I started attending a bereavement group at the Hospice and it became a life support for me. Everyone was in a similar situation and we all supported each other. Over the following eight years, I have made so many friends and we even been on trips together.

"For me, the Hospice is like a sanctuary.

"There is a calmness and a kindness at the Hospice. It is where I know I can get support and I am still getting that support even though Jean died 14 years ago. Jean and I were together for 36 years - some people say, why don't you re-marry but I still miss my Jean like it was yesterday."

Get Walking

Walk On is open to patients, their loved ones, carers and dogs. The Saint Francis Hospice walking group meets on the first Wednesday of each month at 9:45am. The hour-long walk starts from The Green at Havering-atte-Bower, and takes walkers through the stunning countryside surrounding the Hospice grounds.